Wednesday, May 9, 2012

The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Once on a yellow piece of paper with green lines
He wrote a poem
and he called it "chops"
because that was the name of his dog
and that’s what it was all about
his teacher gave him an A
and a gold star
and his mother hung it on the kitchen door
and read it to his aunts.
that was the year Father Tracy
took all the kids to the zoo
and he let them sing on the bus
and his little sister was born
with tiny nails and no hair
and his mother and father kissed a lot
and the girl around the corner sent him a
Valentine signed with a row of X's
and he had to ask his father what the X's meant
and his father always tucked him in bed at night
and was always there to do it

once on a piece of white paper with blue lines
he wrote a poem
he called it "Autumn"
because that was the name of the season
and that's what it was all about
and his teacher gave him an A
and asked him to write more clearly
and his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because of the new paint
and the kids told him
that Father Tracy smoked cigars
and left butts on the pews
and sometime they would burn holes
that was the year his sister got glasses
with thick lenses and black frames
and the girl around the corner laughed
when he asked her to go see Santa Claus
and the kids told him why
his mother and father kissed a lot
and his father never tucked him in bed at night
and his father got mad
when he cried for him to do it

once on a paper torn from his notebook
he wrote a poem
and he called it "Innocence: A Question"
because that was the question about his girl
and that’s what it was all about
and his professor gave him an A
and a strange steady look
and his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because he never showed her
that was the year Father Tracy died
and he forgot how the end
of the Apostles’ Creed went
and he caught his sister
making out on the back porch
and his mother and father never kissed
or even talked
and the girl around the corner
wore too much make up
that made him cough when he kissed her
but he kissed her anyway
because it was the thing to do
and at 3 am he tucked himself into bed
his father snoring soundly

that's why on the back of a brown paper bag
he tried another poem
and he called it "Absolutely Nothing"
because that's what it was really all about
and he gave himself an A
and a slash on each damned wrist
and he hung it on the bathroom door
because this time he didn’t think
he could reach the kitchen----

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

This Is For The Best

one sad cold night
a boy sat in his chair
picked up a gun
as he ran his fingers through his hair
he sat and cried as he thought
everything that’s happened
has all been my fault
he said if I was gone
this would all be better
an he told her 
"I love you now more than ever"
he said "trust me
this is for the best
you will see
cause after I'm gone
no more fighting, you'll be free"
he grabbed a bullet
an put it in the gun
said, "I love you so much
but now I have to run"
he said "I sorry I cant take this no more.
I've let down so many people
I wish I could go back to before"
he hung up the phone 
an pulled the trigger
looked down at his chest
as the pain grew bigger
his eyes filled with tears
they started to pour
as soon as his family ran in
he fell to the floor

How i Feel

This poem was written by myself one night when I planned to commit suicide and found writing a letter too hard. I have obviously not gone through with it and now by submitting this poem originally meant for my family, I feel I can move on from that stage of my life.

Sometimes I just wish, I could run away and hide.
No matter where I go though, these feelings stay inside.
How can I stay here and live each day a lie,
When all I want to do is close my eyes and die?
I see the pain I cause you, with every tear I shed.
I plead with you now mum, let me go instead?
I wish I could take you with me, to a happy place,
Whether it exists though, is time for me to face.
Can I ask for your forgiveness? For you to set me free,
It may seem ungrateful, but this life's not meant for me.
Thank you for all your love, for all the time we shared,
It means the world to me, to know that someone cared.

Left alone

So many things we never got to do
So many conversations we never got through
I feel lost and empty now
Every day I ask, how?
I could feel nothing when you died
I felt I wanted to run and hide
Run and hide cause I felt blind
Peace and and clarity I couldn't find
They say when you die your soul just flies away
I wanted to chase your soul, so for another day you could just come and stay
You were my Grams, you taught me how to stand on my own
Now that you’re gone, I feel as though I can’t do it alone
I've tried so hard to see things through and become the person you wanted me to be
Sometimes it’s just so hard being me
I'd give anything if I could just talk to you once more
To see you walk through the door
and tell me that everything was going to be alright for sure
When I look into the sky I picture you staring down
Which is why I have no reason to frown
All the things you taught me, all the songs we use to sing
Now you’re gliding under God’s precious wings
I hope He’s taking good care of you because now you’re in His place
I hope all your worries and all your fears have left your face
I never got so say goodbye that was the worst part
But I know that when you left secretly you said goodbye to my heart
So when I lay myself into bed tonight
I know you'll always be there to hold me tight.

Jaime Sabines

The Moon 

You can take the moon by the spoonful
or in capsules every two hours. 
It's useful as a hypnotic and sedative 
and besides it relieves 
those who have had too much philosophy. 
A piece of moon in your purse 
works better than a rabbit's foot. 
Helps you find a lover 
or get rich without anyone knowing, 
and it staves off doctors and clinics. 
You can give it to children like candy 
when they've not gone to sleep, 
and a few drops of moon in the eyes of the old 
helps them to die in peace. 


Put a new leaf of moon 
under your pillow 
and you'll see what you want to. 
Always carry a little bottle of air of the moon 
to keep you from drowning. 
Give the key to the moon 
to prisoners and the disappointed. 
For those who are sentenced to death 
and for those who are sentenced to life
there is no better tonic than the moon 
in precise and regular doses. 


Jaime Sabines 

d h lawrence

Lies About Love 

We are a liars, because 
the truth of yesterday becomes a lie tomorrow, 
whereas letters are fixed, 
and we live by the letter of truth. 
The love I feel for my friend, this year, 
is different from the love I felt last year. 
If it were not so, it would be a lie. 
Yet we reiterate love! love! love! 
as if it were a coin with a fixed value 
instead of a flower that dies, and opens a different bud. 


D H Lawrence

david wagoner

Lost

Stand still. The trees ahead and bushes beside you
Are not lost. Wherever you are is called Here,
And you must treat it as a powerful stranger,
Must ask permission to know it and be known.
The forest breathes. Listen. It answers,
I have made this place around you,
If you leave it you may come back again, saying Here.
No two trees are the same to Raven.
No two branches are the same to Wren.
If what a tree or a bush does is lost on you,
You are surely lost. Stand still. The forest knows
Where you are. You must let it find you.


David Wagoner